Dog Develops Serious Case of Stockholm Syndrome

TKN’s canine correspondent, Gizmo Brown

This is a GUEST POST by Gizmo Brown, The Kingdom News’ canine correspondent. Read more about Gizmo here.

Today in Ann Arbor a young puppy by the name of Bosley has been found to have developed strong feelings of affection for his captors just weeks after they ripped him from his mother’s side.

Captor and charge  [image via cutestuff.co]

The captors, a couple by the name of James and Janis Ersek, lock their charge in their home while they attend to their

affairs for hours at a time, feeding him a serving of an unidentifiable dry and tasteless food twice daily.

When out in public, Bosley’s captors refuse to him out of their sight for even a moment, even accompanying him while he relieves himself. The couple even collects his stool, most likely in an effort to conceal the existence of their charge.

Bosley seems to have forgotten his captors’ heinous crimes, running to greet them upon their return, even performing a sort of squirmy, bucking dance for their enjoyment.

The couple also occasionally issues a series of commands on poor Bosley, which for the large part appear to be primarily for their amusement.

Bosley has spurned attempts at rescue, greeting reporter’s endeavors to his captor’s lair with raucous barking and growling, “HEY YOU! HEY YOU! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! THIS IS MY HOUSE! THIS IS MY HOUSE! GRRRR….. GRRRRRR….”

The Erseks appear remorseless in their extrication of Bosley from his family. It is unclear as to his captors’ intentions or the purpose of their crime as they have yet to issue a list of demands.

Please contact the authorities if you have any additional information regarding Bosley or his captors, the Erseks.

THIS IS SATIRE. THIS WAS NOT WRITTEN BY A DOG – IT WAS WRITTEN BY THE SAME PERSON WHO WRITES EVERY FUCKING STORY ON THIS SITE.